My current body leaves quite a bit to be desired.
Yes I know, I know I had a baby 6 weeks ago, I had back to back pregnancies and no I do not have access to a great plastic surgeon to suck it all out so I can waltz about pretending like I lost it all nearly instant and through the power of 'magic super genes'.
All that said my current body is still getting me down.
I am a stylist and I am literally swimming in really lush and lovely clothes that do NOT fit! On bad days I tell myself they will never fit again *insert sad music*. It is the equivalent to being a foodie at a five star restaurant and having your mouth stitched shut; in other words it is incredibly frustrating.
Now I have been every weight and body type in the books. I have been scary thin at 5'5 and barley 100lbs, I have been sleek and slim at 120lbs, I have had cute curves at 135lbs, I have been categorically chubby at 155lbs, and now I am just down right overweight at...*drum roll please*...175lbs.
Yup, that is right my friends I weigh an impressive 175lbs as of this morning and it bothers me. The healthy weight range for my height goes up to 155lbs and even at that weight I have never felt comfortable or like myself. I want to be healthy, I want to be able to wear my clothes, I want to feel more like myself.
When I hit my 10th month of pregnancy with Riley at my all time in the history of my life highest I weighed 188lbs (that is more than my 6foot tall husband weighs) for me this was humbling.
I know I was pregnant but still I think it was a tad wee bit excessive, no?
I know lots of women who are on the more voluptuous side and they are unarguably lovely. The difference between them and myself is that they are happy and comfortable in their bodies. Some of them are just naturally of a larger build, some have been curvy their whole lives. They embrace it, they work it, they sparkle...I am not one of these women. I have a very small bone structure and no matter how much weight I gain I still maintain a slim woman's head (so I look a bit like I have a shrunken head at the moment).
I was a competitive dancer most of my life and I doubt this has informed or constructed a healthy personal sense of body for me. I have always been preoccupied with my weight. No matter how much I weigh I have always wanted to "just lose 10lbs" (yes even at 100lbs).
Well I am a mother now and I am knocking on the door of being 30 years old so fad diets, starvation, and fitness obsession are not avenues I care to revisit. I would like to be fit and confident again though. So I am going about setting realistic goals. I would like to be between 135lbs and 145lbs again. At this weight range I am between a size 6-10 depending on the make, I have flesh on my bones and I feel good about myself. So this leaves me with 30-40lbs to lose. In that I am not a kid anymore this is a bit of an epic goal. Losing weight gets much much more difficult as we age. I can remember in my early twenties that if I skipped a meal I could drop 2lbs a day; that is no longer the case. I want to lose this weight in the next 6mos...is that even realistic?
How do I intend to do it? Well a balanced diet to start with less sugar, better choices when it comes to carbs (I like so many others am a certified carb-addict), avoidance of fried food (good luck to me on this one with an Asian husband), and working out.
As an ex-dancer I really enjoy pilates and cardio does not bother me in the least but I know I need to add some weight training to that if I want to see real results. It all seems so daunting but baby steps, one foot in front of another and all that jazz.
So today is the day that I embark on my epic journey to a happier, healthier me! Wish me luck.
Next post we attend to postpartum stretch marks and discuss how I now look like a little zebra and can never wear crop tops, or string bikinis again LOL
Lots of love,
Cat
Yes I know, I know I had a baby 6 weeks ago, I had back to back pregnancies and no I do not have access to a great plastic surgeon to suck it all out so I can waltz about pretending like I lost it all nearly instant and through the power of 'magic super genes'.
All that said my current body is still getting me down.
I am a stylist and I am literally swimming in really lush and lovely clothes that do NOT fit! On bad days I tell myself they will never fit again *insert sad music*. It is the equivalent to being a foodie at a five star restaurant and having your mouth stitched shut; in other words it is incredibly frustrating.
Now I have been every weight and body type in the books. I have been scary thin at 5'5 and barley 100lbs, I have been sleek and slim at 120lbs, I have had cute curves at 135lbs, I have been categorically chubby at 155lbs, and now I am just down right overweight at...*drum roll please*...175lbs.
Yup, that is right my friends I weigh an impressive 175lbs as of this morning and it bothers me. The healthy weight range for my height goes up to 155lbs and even at that weight I have never felt comfortable or like myself. I want to be healthy, I want to be able to wear my clothes, I want to feel more like myself.
When I hit my 10th month of pregnancy with Riley at my all time in the history of my life highest I weighed 188lbs (that is more than my 6foot tall husband weighs) for me this was humbling.
I know I was pregnant but still I think it was a tad wee bit excessive, no?
I know lots of women who are on the more voluptuous side and they are unarguably lovely. The difference between them and myself is that they are happy and comfortable in their bodies. Some of them are just naturally of a larger build, some have been curvy their whole lives. They embrace it, they work it, they sparkle...I am not one of these women. I have a very small bone structure and no matter how much weight I gain I still maintain a slim woman's head (so I look a bit like I have a shrunken head at the moment).
I was a competitive dancer most of my life and I doubt this has informed or constructed a healthy personal sense of body for me. I have always been preoccupied with my weight. No matter how much I weigh I have always wanted to "just lose 10lbs" (yes even at 100lbs).
Well I am a mother now and I am knocking on the door of being 30 years old so fad diets, starvation, and fitness obsession are not avenues I care to revisit. I would like to be fit and confident again though. So I am going about setting realistic goals. I would like to be between 135lbs and 145lbs again. At this weight range I am between a size 6-10 depending on the make, I have flesh on my bones and I feel good about myself. So this leaves me with 30-40lbs to lose. In that I am not a kid anymore this is a bit of an epic goal. Losing weight gets much much more difficult as we age. I can remember in my early twenties that if I skipped a meal I could drop 2lbs a day; that is no longer the case. I want to lose this weight in the next 6mos...is that even realistic?
How do I intend to do it? Well a balanced diet to start with less sugar, better choices when it comes to carbs (I like so many others am a certified carb-addict), avoidance of fried food (good luck to me on this one with an Asian husband), and working out.
As an ex-dancer I really enjoy pilates and cardio does not bother me in the least but I know I need to add some weight training to that if I want to see real results. It all seems so daunting but baby steps, one foot in front of another and all that jazz.
So today is the day that I embark on my epic journey to a happier, healthier me! Wish me luck.
Next post we attend to postpartum stretch marks and discuss how I now look like a little zebra and can never wear crop tops, or string bikinis again LOL
Lots of love,
Cat
Post Title
→A frank lament about my post-baby body
Post URL
→https://marisamiller-model.blogspot.com/2010/03/frank-lament-about-my-post-baby-body.html
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